Where I Belong

Hey guys, for those of you that enjoy reading these little things, I apologize that I haven't been on the ball lately and haven't gotten a post up in quite some time. This one will probably be pretty short.

I recently read through 1st and 2nd Thessalonians. I was expecting to get a ton out of them because I love when I get to read something that Paul wrote. There's always so much wisdom and truth in the letters he writes to the early churches and those whom he discipled. This time, however, I got through the first paragraph and was so struck by what I read that I really wasn't able to pay much attention to the rest of the letter.

This is what I read, "This letter is from Paul, Silas, and Timothy.We are writing to the church in Thessalonica, to you who belong to God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. May God give you grace and peace." (1 Thessalonians 1:1) I got so caught up in that I could barely learn anything else. The words "those who belong to God" stood out so much that I couldn't go on for a while, I had to let them sink in.

 For so long (this is probably my 3rd or 4th time reading through these books) I had interpreted that very same "belong" as merely being "those who God owns". And that's true, I'm God's possession. He owns me, and that's pretty cool! But for whatever reason, good old Daddy decided to take me so much deeper, and show me another way to view me belonging to him.

Let me use an example that I thought about that helped me understand another way to interpret the word "belong". Do you put a spatula in the same place that you put an apple? ... I hope you all said, "No" because if you didn't... you're weird :) but that's okay! That's because a spatula doesn't BELONG in the same place that an apple BELONGS. It's as if he's saying , "To those who are in the right place in relationship to God and Christ Jesus..." We belong to God, he has made a spot for us.

Let me use another example to help demonstrate another way that this "belong" struck me. Say you "belong" to a certain club. Most clubs have to go through some sort of vetting process, interviews, or something to have you be accepted there. Once you're accepted, you become a member and you then belong to that club. God has accepted us into his club of weirdos that love him, and has made a place for us with him. We are accepted, we have a place, God has made room for us. God made room for me.... I know that this all might be so mind-numbingly obvious to you that you're thinking, "Why did I just spend a couple minutes reading this blog by that crazy dude to get to read that point? Of course I belong to God!" And I don't know, maybe this struck me so hard because I've always felt a little bit out of place. Maybe it's because I've always been the one who tries to make other people feel included because I felt left out, but regardless of all that, this is powerful, life changing stuff! Think about it with me for a second. God doesn't need anything from anyone! He's good all by himself, but he decided to say, "You know what? I really like that dude,I think he's pretty neat. I'm going to call him to follow me and make room for him in my kingdom." I'm so humbled when I think about this, my daddy, who didn't have to be my daddy, decided to chase me, make a place for me and accept me: flaws and all. How great is our God? When I'm with him, I'm truly where I belong.

I'M GOING TO NEW ZEALAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As you may have deciphered from the title of this blog post, I got accepted to YWAM and will be off to Tauranga, New Zealand around January 9th or so. (I have yet to figure out when I'll be leaving so I get there at the right time, because I know it's a REALLY long flight, and it's all a bit confusing figuring out when I'll actually arrive because New Zealand is 16 hours ahead of us on the East Coast.) And yes, I'm a tad bit excited about it. ....That was a lie..... I'm SUPER excited about it! I'M GOING TO NEW ZEALAND, PEOPLE!!! Let me get into the story of how all this fell together and the numerous times God showed me that I was, in fact, on the right path.

I'll start this off with a nice little story. My cousin Rachel started having doubts about if God really wanted to her be an interpreter (this is now her 4th year of taking sign language in school) so she asked God to start confirming her path for her. She started meeting deaf people in restaurants, public places etc. and was very thankful that God was making it pretty clear to her that she was to continue on her path. Then one day He sent her a sign that she LITERALLY could NOT miss. She was at the beach with a couple of friends, and enjoying the view, when two people sat down directly in front of her, so that she couldn't even see the ocean around her. Later she noticed that they were talking and expressing themselves with large gestures, and then she realized that this wasn't just an expressive conversation, it was calculated. She got up her nerves and decided to go talk to these people. It turned out that the older woman was deaf, and the one beside her was her daughter. The daughter is the same age as my cousin, looking to go to the same college as my cousin, for the same major as my cousin. Yay God!

So, what does this have to do with me? NOTHING. Just kidding. After hearing what my Daddy did for my cousin, I was like "Dad, can you do the same thing for me? Send me something that I just can't miss!" I asked that probably 2 months ago, and it wasn't until about 2 weeks ago that I received my answer. New Zealand started popping up in pretty much everything. One day my mom came home from school and said "There's a guy at Global that went to New Zealand with YWAM." ...That's cool. I didn't think to much of it until later, I mean, there are like 6 different bases in New Zealand anyways, what are the chances he went to the same one I'm going to? I stowed that away and kept going on with my life. I started watching a man named Todd White preach online, and one time the video wouldn't load, so I decided to check out the comments. (This was the first time I even looked at any of the comments on his videos by the way) The second comment read "I wish Todd White would come to New Zealand." Interesting... Then I was watching an episode of Mythbusters, where they were testing an old myth about exploding pants. I was like "Yay! Esploding pants!" Anyone want to take a guess where this myth came from? NEW ZEALAND. So I'm kinda starting to get the picture by now. Remember the guy my mom had mentioned? Well, he came over one night for supper, and guess what? He went to the same base that I'm now going to. He even worked there for a while! A week or so later, I was going to a conference at Global Awakening, and talking to this guy who had gone to New Zealand and I said "You know what? I'm pretty sure that God wants me to go to New Zealand, but I really just want one more sign that I couldn't possibly miss." The speaker that night was a man named Bob Hazlett. He was about to start his lesson that night when he started getting words of knowledge for the people who had come to hear him speak. Then he said "I feel like this is for someone watching online, but it's possible that it's for someone here too. I keep hearing New Zealand. Is there anyone here who is from New Zealand or something like that?" Well, as soon as he said "New Zealand" I looked over to my dad and sister and said as quietly as was possible at that moment "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME." But it didn't stop there! Another episode of Mythbusters had yet another myth (again about pants) from New Zealand. Just last week as I was posting notes from the sermon I put together, there was a post about "My Road Trip Through New Zealand". God is good!

Even though God had made it very clear to me that this was His will, I was still doubting that it was really going to happen, because I still had to go to the doctor's office, and get her to give me the "all clear." This appeared to be a HUGE problem at the time. The last time my doctor had seen me was in may of 2012. I still couldn't walk up a flight of stairs, or do much of anything. I figured that my journey would stop cold in it's tracks when I went to see her again, but as I drove down God just kept saying, "Trust me, Peter. I can do exceedingly abundantly beyond what you can imagine! In fact, don't just expect her to give you the go ahead, expect her to say 'I think it's actually a really good idea that you're going.'" And that's exactly what happened. In fact, God took it a step farther! She then gave me her email address so that as soon as I get something set up for people to donate to help me get to New Zealand, I could contact her and she would donate! So my biggest "hurdle" turned out to be a big blessing instead! I got the letter saying I was fit for travel, emailed it to the base in New Zealand, and when I woke up the next morning I had an acceptance confirmation in my email inbox!

So, in summary, GOD IS GOOD. Something that he said to me at the beginning of this journey was "I make paths straight, but for me to guide your feet, I need you to start moving." God cannot direct the feet of a person standing still. Start walking into what he has for you and if you start getting of the path, he'll make it clear to you, and he'll give you a way to get back to the place you were intended to go.

For those of you wishing to donate to make it possible for me to get to New Zealand, I will hopefully have a way for you to start donating here shortly. I'm trying to see if I can set up an account with a church so that all donations will be tax-deductible, but I may have to just set up a Pay Pal button here on my blog. The money would go to my Pay Pal account and I would then send the money donated to the base in Taraunga, or use it for paying for travel costs. Blessings!

Personal Holiness Notes

I spoke at a youth event yesterday and I figured I'd put these notes up here because I put about 5 hours into preparing this. I hope it challenges you! ...You may need to look the scripture up on biblegateway.com to understand the points.

LIVING A HOLY LIFE-STYLE/LIKE JESUS

• 1 peter 1:15-16 “15 But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. 16 For the Scriptures say, “You must be holy because I am holy.”
• Greek word for Holy is Hagios (a) to set apart 100% for a set purpose and (b) pure, clean. The objects in the temple were set apart as holy, and were only to be used in the Temple. We are to be holy, set apart for special use for God.
• yeah, but how are we supposed to live like that? what does that even look like? Who’s the Holiest person to ever walk the Earth? Jesus. We should model our lives after his.
• 1 John 4:17 “And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world.”
• Ephesians 5:1  Imitate God because you are his children

IDENTITY THAT ALLOWS US TO LIVE HOLY LIVES

• 1 Peter 2:9 God calls us “royal priests” a “holy nation”
• Galatians 4:6-7 We are children of God, his Heirs
• Can God lie? Than this is who we truly are. we ARE holy, we ARE PRIESTS, we are Sons and Daughters and we are Heirs.
• story of the worm/white washed worm.
• 2 Corinthians 5:14-17 live controlled by christ’s love, died to old nature, you no longer live for yourself. the old life is gone and the new life has come
• we are no longer worms, we are a totally new person!
• Phillipians 3:13-16 letting go of the past, so that you can put on the new nature of righteousness and holiness
• we are no longer that person who did that terrible thing this many times and did that other horrible thing that one time! And when satan tries to bring it up again stand up and say ‘you got the wrong guy, that dude died way back when’
• Hebrews 8:12 God has forgotten our sins, we should too!
• Hebrews 2:11 Jesus MAKES us holy. Makes is like saying, he’s MADE us holy, he is MAKING us holy, and he will continue to MAKE us holy. It’s a process, not an event.

• 1 John 4:7-17 Christ didn’t just die for our sins, he died to TAKE AWAY our sin. Our sin is gone from us and we don’t have the obligation to sin. If we still sin, it’s because we haven’t let God take it away from us!

• Romans 8:1-17 God ended the control of sin over us, if we are living in sin, it’s because we are allowing ourselves to do so.
• You can allow Holy Spirit to control you! verse 6
• Like father like son. verse 14. touch on “who here gets told that you remind people of your dad/mom?”
• Paul, James, Peter, and Jude all refer to themselves as “slaves of christ” or “slaves of God”
• We are no longer slaves to sin, where we have to do what our old sinful nature tells us to, but now we are slaves to Jesus! We should impulsively obey him

OUR NEW NATURE

• Colossians 2:11-14 Christ cuts off our old nature and gives us a new one and he cancels our record of wrongs
• Galatians 5:5 receive righteousness by faith. we don’t have to TRY to be righteous, God has already called us righteous. all we have to do is say “yes” and receive it.
• You must become like a child (Matthew 18:3) because children know how to receive. When you give a kid a gift, they don’t ask what they have to pay you back with. They just accept it and say “thank you”.
• Ephesians 4:22-24 throw off your old sinful nature and put on your new nature, created to be like God
• Colosians 3 take off the old nature (lists what that looks like, taking note that it says that the people of this church dealt with the same stuff we deal with) keep your mind on heavenly things…. i think i’m going to end up reading all of this chapter and just point stuff out as i go on.
• Galatians 2:20 -crucified with christ, we no longer live, but christ lives in us

A NEW WAY OF THINKING

• You become what you believe you are. if you believe that you are good enough, you will act like you aren’t and eventually this will become your identity. if you believe that you are made holy and righteous, this will free you to live holy and righteous this is why ROMANS 12:2 says Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. It’s thinking that is what totally changes us.
• If a boy thinks he can fly, he’s going to try to do so. It doesn’t mean he’s right, but his thoughts lead to actions.
• If you think you’re sick, you’re going to act sick and eventually feel sick/ if you think you’re healthy, you’re going to feel healthy
• If a girl believes she's ugly/worthless, she'll act self-conscious around people, but once she knows that her true beauty/worth comes from God, she'll view herself and others with a new perspective.
• When you transform the way you think, you become a new person.
• If an overweight person changes the way he thinks about food, he can change the way he eats, and he can change the way his body looks as he eats more responsibly
• If you change the way you think about work from “i just have to get through this so I can get to the fun stuff” to “this is an opportunity to work for the glory of the Lord!” you will work harder, and be more efficient.
• When you consistently change your thoughts, it changes your motivation, and that will eventually turn you into a new creation.

PRACTICAL HOLINESS

• You are what you eat
• if you put junk in your body, what will you feel like?
• if you put healthy stuff in your body what will you feel like?
• If you fill and feed your heart and mind with the things of this world, you will receive the benefits of this world: death and decay. But if you fill your heart and mind with the things of the kingdom, you will receive the benefits of the Kingdom: life to the fullest and wisdom. Just like our physical bodies will reflect how we care for it, our souls, thoughts and actions will reflect what we are putting into it. If we put junk, crap, lust, violence, and fear of man in our hearts and minds, we will get out junk, and crap, and lust, and violence, and fear of man. But if we fill ourselves with hope, love, joy, faithfulness, peace, and the kindness of God, then all of those things will come out of us.
• So how do you manage what you are putting into your mind?
• Phillipians 1:9-11 i want you to understand what really matters. in the end, what you’re doing, will it matter? will the video games, the music you listen to, the movies/tv shows help you towards your goal or make a road block for you?
• Phillipians 1:27 “live a life worthy of the gospel” is this (movie, tv show, video game, song, book, magazine, entertainment) worthy of the gospel? is it helping or keeping me from living a life worthy of the gospel?
• Phillipians 2:13-15 is it pleasing to god? is it pure and blameless?
• Phillipians 4:8 thinking on things above, good things should fill our mind, not things that look like this world.
• Does it look like the kingdom of God, or like what Satan does john 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. we should not be like the enemy. he enjoys stealing, killing, and destruction. we should not enjoy these things.

• Let what you’re putting in effect how you act.
• Would you do/say/think/watch/listen to/read it if Jesus were standing in the room with you? Apply this to relationships too
• What would Jesus do?

CONDEMNATION/PRIDE

• John 8: Jesus didn’t condemn the woman for what she was caught in
• “I love you, now go and sin no more”
• Romans 8:1 “Now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus”
• Don’t be “Holier than thou”
• where you’re at with God is not based on what you’ve done to earn it, it’s only by his grace that you aren’t out doing what “those heathens” do. Instead gently encourage them in their walk.
• 2 Corinthians 5:18-20 We are given the task of reconciliation, not condemnation.

CONCLUSION

• You are called to live and look like Jesus,
• He already payed the price so that you could live and look like him, and he already says that you are!
• so put on the new nature you received by faith. Galatians 5:5

BE BOLD. BE WEIRD.

As usual this will be a post about something God is currently working on in my life. I'm pretty much just going to jump into this and be really real for a while, if that's okay with all of you. And as is usually the case, this is just as much for my benefit as it is for yours. Fasten your seat belts, this might get uncomfortable.

So, can anyone tell me where in the Word of God we find the command to "be timid and afraid?" (This is of course rhetorical, because you can't tell me in real-time if you find it. If you do find it somewhere in your Bible by chance, you should probably find a new translation....) What does the Bible have to say about fear? Well, for starters I'll use this New Testament verse from 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." Obviously, we are NOT supposed to be fearful or timid. CAPTAIN OBVIOUS STRIKES AGAIN. So what do we do when we feel afraid? REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE. You are the child of the LIVING GOD. You serve the One who has authority over EVERYTHING. You are desperately loved by the King of Kings. So what if people think you're weird? Will people thinking your crazy change the fact that Jesus died on the cross for your sake? I think not. I think that making you weird is EXACTLY why he hung there. See, Jesus didn't die just to get us into heaven. He died to get HEAVEN INTO US. And just in case you didn't already know this, heaven is REALLY WEIRD. There are beings totally covered in eyes, and then there are those freaky angel things that have like 4 faces and have wheels underneath them that Ezekiel saw.

 Paul said in 2 Corinthians 5:13 "If it seems we are crazy, it is to bring glory to God. And if we are in our right minds, then it is for your benefit." If Paul has to write this to a church, it's probably because HE MIGHT SEEM CRAZY. Seeming crazy is okay people! Jesus spat in a dude's eyes so that he could see. He turned water into wine. He told a dead dude to get up, AND THE DEAD MAN DID AS HE WAS TOLD.  WEIRD. We are supposed to be holy just like he is holy! Christ is our example, our measure. In the New Peter Byers Translation I would say it like this "Be weird, just as I am weird, and don't worry about being weird, because you're supposed to be weird. If you are not weird, that's just weird, because all of my kids are weird and do weird things because they hang out with me and my weirdness gets all over them"

Do you know how many times in the Bible we can find "Be strong and courageous?" THIRTEEN TIMES. (I'm not making that up, go to biblegateway.com and search that phrase.) Let that sink in for a little bit. If God says something once, we should listen. If God says something twice, we should really pay attention. If He says something three times, He's probably trying to get something through our thick skulls. And in Joshua 1:6-9 the phrase "be strong and courageous" is used 4 times. I THINK HE MIGHT BE TRYING TO SAY SOMETHING GUYS. Jesus did not come to show us how to live and then die to give us the power to do just as he did so that we can run around being TIMID AND AFRAID. He died so that we could be in a right relationship with God just like he was, and so that we could know the perfect love of God. What does perfect love do? "Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love."  John 4:18.

What is the solution to fear? Getting really close to God so that his perfect love can get all over you and wash out all the fear. Boldness does not start as a state of being or mind, though it can become such a state once you really understand who you are in Christ. Boldness is not something you automatically step into, it takes practice. You can only ever be bold when you choose to believe that you are all God says you are, and that God is all He says He is. When you start consistently believing that and acting out of that belief you will truly be bold.

This is the challenge that I will leave you with. Be strong and courageous. Be bold. Believe that you are all He says you are and that He is all He says He is, and then act upon that belief. And so that this isn't just me preaching from my soap box and because I want to be real with you, you have the permission to check in on me and ask if I've been acting out of perfect love or not. BE BOLD. BE WEIRD.

Faith, Boldness, and Love

To start this out, I'm just going to say, I'm writing this post as much for myself as for your benefit. It's time for some brutal transparency, because I think a lot of people see the things that I do and are impressed. However, they aren't seeing the battle inside and the flaws that I have. They just hear about the cool stuff that happens, because that's the fun part of the story. The author of 2nd Timothy has this to say in chapter 1 verse 7, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." Quite honestly, my first reaction when God tells me to go and do something is to worry. These worries often manifest in thoughts like "What if I pray and nothing happens?" "What if they think I'm crazy?" and "What if I'm totally wrong?" They often end up crippling me and rendering me ineffective. I recently went to a fair and my fear was thrown in my face and made brutally apparent to me. I saw people walking with canes, being pushed along in wheelchairs, and people who have probably never before heard the Good News of what Jesus Christ has done for them. Instead of being broken and faithful to show them the awesome love that I've received, my first instinct was: RUN. God might ask you to do something really stupid, and you might make a fool of yourself. Ultimately, God said "Pete, I see how afraid you are, and I'm not going to ask you to do something radical tonight because you would not have the faith to see the results I want you to see. I see that you need to be built up and start using your faith inside the body before you can go out to the lost and broken and see lives and bodies healed and redeemed." So I was never asked to pray for someone, or given a word for someone, because my fear had rendered me ineffective. This leads me to the first part of the title: FAITH.

Hebrews 11:6 "It is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him." Faith is how we please God. If we want to see the Kingdom of Heaven come into every situation, we must live by FAITH. I'm convinced that the reason that North America does not see miracles as often as third world countries is because we don't have the faith to ask for things in the name of Jesus and then believe that they will happen because we have asked for it and because we love and are loved by the one we are asking these things from. (John 14:13-14 "You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father. Yes, ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it!" Mark 11:24 "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.") I'm not saying to "name it and claim it," I'm merely presenting my case for faith. All throughout the Gospels, Jesus tells his disciples that if you merely have faith you will see mountains move, if you just believe things will happen. We see so many examples of faith yielding great results. The woman who suffered from constant bleeding reached out to touch Jesus and was healed because of her faith (Matthew 9:22). In Mark 10:52 we see another example of this, “What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked.

“My rabbi,” the blind man said, “I want to see!”

And Jesus said to him, “Go, for your faith has healed you.” Instantly the man could see, and he followed Jesus down the road.". There are many other stories I could go to, but it would take too much time.

Time and time again throughout the Gospels and throughout the entire New Testament we see the crazy, STUPID things that have happened because people believed and had faith. They had radical faith that created boldness, and it was their faith and boldness combined that led them to preach while they were on trial. We, and more specifically, I, desperately need more boldness. Faith is awesome, but without the boldness to ask for things and to obediently do what the Father has asked of us, it will accomplish very little. See, I KNOW that God can heal and that he wants to, I have even seen it firsthand! But at the fair, I didn't have the boldness to put my faith into action. I wasn't bold enough to go pray for those I saw walking with canes, or being pushed in wheel chairs, or those that I could see were obviously hurting and desperately lost. And as I'm sitting here typing this out, I'm realizing that faith without the boldness to act upon that faith isn't really faith at all. Just knowing that God can do something isn't faith, it is merely knowledge unless it's used to further His Kingdom. 

In the "faith chapter" (Hebrews 11) we see many examples of great faith. Almost every single one of these "by faith-s" is followed by someone doing something. Faith is boldly putting our belief into action. This leads me to the final point I want to make-- the love that makes bold faith useful and worthwhile.

Paul says that without love he would merely be a clanging cymbal, or noisy gong. So acts of faith are worthless unless they are coming out of love. If the reason you want to see someone be led to Jesus or be healed in his name is so that you get something out of it, something is terribly wrong. The only way we are to share the gospel is with LOVE, and it should come out of a loving relationship with our Savior. In Matthew 7:22-23 we see what happens when the motivation is NOT love, and is NOT coming out of a loving relationship with Christ. "Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ 23 Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’". Miracles, prophecies, and great works are crap unless we do them out of love for Jesus because we KNOW him. Acts of faith should be the overflow of worship and getting quality Daddy-time.

Often times in the Gospels before Jesus performs a miracle, the word says "he was moved with compassion" to do something. My challenge to you and myself is this: be moved by love, have faith in God, and boldly do what he has asked you to do. He has not given you a spirit of fear or timidity, but one of  power, love, and self discipline. Ask for things in the name of Jesus, because He loves bringing glory to the Father. Make sure you are spending time getting to know Jesus. I don't mean knowing ABOUT him, I mean knowing HIM, out of experiences and encounters with him. Do all of this in love, and expect God to move mightily.

Victim or Victor

Something happened today that doesn't happen to me very often. I got angry. 

My mom was getting on my case about finding a job, and how I need to be spending my time and energy doing that instead of playing basketball, and video games. She continued telling me (with all gentleness and humility) that it is more important for me to be able to support myself, than for me to enjoy having time to myself. All of this is good and true, but at the moment, I wanted none of it. I felt anger rising inside of me, I felt like I was being served an injustice. Explaining that will take a bit of back-story.

Let's rewind to September '09. I was just starting to go to the "big house"; Chambersburg Area Senior High School. (Back in those days, you didn't enter the High School building until you were in 10th grade.) But something was wrong. Most days getting to school was a terrible struggle, and I would often come in late, or not come in at all. I would wake up most mornings and end up crying because I was beyond the point of exhaustion, and the day had just begun. I had no energy and I could barely get myself out of bed, even if I slept in until 10:30. I eventually went to the doctor and found out I had mono. I also have Lyme disease, so my immune system was shot, and my energy level at rock bottom. So for about 8 weeks, I had a routine of maybe getting out of bed and walking down to the family room and watching TV, having my mom make me tea and food when I needed it, and sleeping on the couch, only to go back up to bed to sleep more later that night. Needless to say, this greatly affected my social life. I couldn't hang out with friends, I had no energy to go to the computer and talk to them via social media, and even when I did, I had very few conversations, very little interaction. I was able to beat mono eventually, and I returned to school for about a month, but after a while, my symptoms began to return, my energy and strength began to wain, and I was back to where I started. I then ended up going to a clinic and was there for a total of 9 months over 1 and a half years. Mine was a very lonely existence and the only things that kept me going for the next 3 years were a small handful of friends that did their best to keep in contact with me, and my relationship with the King of Kings, the Lord Jesus Christ. 

Since then, some of my strength has returned, and as you may have been reading, I am being healed by my Lord and Savior, but I never really let go what has happened to me. I had never really surrendered those years. I was still holding on to them, wanting to be a normal teenager, having missed what are considered to be "the best years of my life". I was holding on to the painful memory of not being able to walk for more than about 50 feet without taking 10 minute breaks, of not having any contact with friends for weeks at a time, of not being able to attend high school, and having to give up my dream of going to college on a track and field scholarship. I was bitter, and all of this was being brought up when my mom was talking to me about responsibility. I felt like I had the right to have some fun, because I have missed out on so much, but the truth is, I need to step up, and let go, and stop being a victim of my past.

God and I had a very long conversation about victimhood, in which He showed me that my sense of being wronged came from me misunderstanding His character and purpose in my life. God is a loving father, and as such He wants the very best for His children. Battling disease was not (and is not) a punishment for something I did wrong, instead it is an opportunity to press in deeper, and stand upon his word, so that I could see that He truly IS my healer, just like the bible says. Much like Deuteronomy 30:15 says "Today I am giving you a choice between life and death" He gave me this choice: I could give Him the past 4 years and trust that He is the ultimate redeemer, restorer, rewarder and believe that He will work everything out for my good and His glory, or I could hold on to the pain, the suffering and let myself feel bad about what had happened to me. I can can be the victim and feel bad for myself because of the trials I have endured, or I can let the fires of refinement forge me into a victor and choose to know His joy, and believe that He is doing things for my good and the good of those around me.

I now see that my view of God was too small. He is MORE than able to take care of my past AND my future. Heck, if He can figure out how to get the gravitational constant just right for a universe to sustain life, I'm PRETTY sure He can figure out how to use the Devil's plans for destruction in my life to bring about joy, laughter, and a more intimate relationship with Him. I'm by no means completely over my victim complex, but I know that as I stand upon His truth and choose to fight, I will be more than a conqueror through Christ who loves me (Romans 8:37). I will continue to believe that He is good and daily I will declare "I will not die, but I will live to declare the works of the Lord." (Psalm 118:17)

My God's Not Dead, He is Surely ALIVE!

As some of you may have already heard, this past Friday I had the awesome privilege of praying for two people and seeing them healed! It was such an awesome, humbling experience seeing God respond to faith and obedience, and I wanted to encourage all of you so that you would know that God is not dead, he is surely alive and well and at work in the world today!

Friday July 26th there was a 24 hour worship service at the church I am currently attending (Life Center in Harrisburg, PA) and I felt the need to go check it out. The first two hours of worship were kind of cool, but I didn't really feel the presence of God. It might be because I really don't enjoy country music, and the one who was leading worship lead from a guitar that sounded like a banjo... Don't get me wrong, he was a wonderful singer and instrumentalist, but I just couldn't connect. The next set was where things started to happen. When they began to worship, the presence of God filled the room (and honestly, I don't even know how to describe how I knew that he was there, it's one of those things that you just know deep down inside your spirit), and after singing at the top of my lungs for a while, I decided to just sit down and rest in His presence. As I did this I "heard" (when I say "heard" I do not mean that I hear the audible voice of God, it's more of an impression that I need to obey, because I've learned that when I feel this way, God is usually behind it and wants me to do something) that the woman sitting about 4 seats to the right of me needed healing for something. So, me being me, I decided to wait until my heart pounded out of my chest because I'm still getting used to all of this, but I then realized, "hey, what's the worst that could happen? The worst possible thing is that you didn't hear and the woman gives you a funny look, BUT WHAT IF YOU JUST HEARD FROM GOD AND HE'S GOING TO HEAL THIS LADY OF SOMETHING?? Isn't that worth the risk???" And in true Phineas and Ferb fashion, I decided "Yes, yes it is". So I walked towards the woman and asked her if she needed healing for something, and to my delight, she said "Yes". She then went on to tell me that she had been in a car accident, and that her ankle and foot have been in a lot of pain, and she was currently sitting down because she had been on it all day and it just hurt too much to stand up any more. I then asked if I could pray for her, she said yes, so I laid my hand on her ankle and began to pray. I can't really remember how I prayed, or what I even said, but obviously that doesn't matter to God! He does not respond to lofty prayers filled with beautiful words, no, my Jesus responds to faith and stupid obedience to him. I finished praying and asked if she would be willing to stand up and try out her ankle and see if she felt any differently. As she stood up, she told me that her ankle felt like there was a cool breeze on it, and there was no longer any pain! She informed me that she still didn't have the full range of motion in that foot as she did in the other foot, so we went back into prayer, but after a while I felt the Lord tell me to stop praying, she tested it out and she still didn't have the full range of motion. I don't really understand that, but I do know that the good work he has started in her, He will bring to completion! (Phillipians 1:6)

Needless to say, I was CRAZY STOKED!!! This was the first time I had ever seen someone healed after I prayed for them, and I didn't even pray pretty! I then had to go to get some more water, and as I went out, I saw a friend and HAD to tell them what just happened! She and some other people were gathered around a girl praying for her (I could tell this because they had their hands laid on her and their heads were bowed).  The people gathered around this girl heard me tell my friend what the Lord had just done for someone else who I had just prayed for, and they told me to lay my hand on this girl. As I looked, I could tell that she was sick. Her sentences were sluggish, she was shaky, and she looked a little bit sweaty. I figured that if Jesus could heal a woman with pain in her ankle and let her walk without pain again, he certainly can heal this sickness! I felt that I was to remind her that when the Israelites came out of the wilderness  not one among them was "feeble", I then entered into prayer and told the sickness that my Daddy was bigger than it, and it needed to go in his name. I also prayed that the joy of the Lord would be her strength, she then started slowly falling to the ground in laughter. after about 15 seconds, she got back up and said she felt all better. 10-15 minutes later, she was dancing in front of the stage worshiping Jesus!

Since then, I have prayed for a few other people, and did not see them healed as I prayed for them (I have no idea if God did a work over night, or if he will strengthen them day by day, or if there was no healing at all). I don't really understand that, and I think that part of it is because people really need to expect for God to heal (Jesus wasn't able to heal many in his home town because of the unbelief and lack of expectation) and part of it is so that I pursue him more to see others healed that his name might be made famous. I don't fully understand God's plan for healing people, but I do know this: If you do not pray for the sick to be healed, you will never see the sick healed. If you do not step out on a ledge, there is no need for God to be there to make sure that you're safe. If you are obedient, He is faithful. And without faith, it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6). So this is my challenge to you, listen to the Lord, do what he says (Jesus says he only did what His father told him to do) act in faith when you hear him, then stand back and watch Him do His thing. I DARE YOU.

Planning the adventure

Hello all! As some of you may already know, I have felt led to do a DTS (discipleship training school) with  YWAM,(youth with a mission, a christian organization that disciples young people and teaches them the importance of spending time in the presence of god, disciples them, and then sends them to disciple the nations). I would most likely be leaving in January 2014 if I go to DTS base that I have been looking into I have been looking at a worship DTS at the Tauranga base in New Zealand, but i looked at how much it would cost, and it would be $6,700 just for the DTS and the outreach portion. None of this includes air fare (one way costs about $1,539) travelers insurance or anything along those lines. So, this is where you come in. I feel like this is the place where i'm supposed to go, after praying and talking to the worship leader at the base, but because of the cost, I would really need a miracle for that to happen (and I know that my God is a God of the miraculous, so this might just be a time where he wants me to totally trust him and see him come through!). At the same time, I really need for Him to absolutely 100% confirm that this is the base he wants me at, so I'm asking that you would pray alongside me. I need discernment in which way to go, if He wants me to radically trust him for all the support I need, or if He has another way for me to walk.

There's more to this whole thing too, to be able to actually do everything and truly be a part of what YWAM is doing in New Zealand (or where ever He might call me) I need to NOT HAVE LYME DISEASE. I'm sure that most if not all of you are aware that I have had Lyme disease all of my life, and in the past 4 years it has taken me by storm. For a long time I could not concentrate for more than 15 minutes before falling asleep for 2 hours. My mother once watched as I studied and could literally see the bags under my eyes getting darker and darker until I finally gave in to the sleep i desperately needed. THANK GOD I'M NOT THERE ANY MORE!! I am now able to walk up and down stairs, and even play basketball with some kids at the park 2-4 times a week, but that won't cut it for full time ministry. I believe that God is my healer. Christ carried my sins on the cross, they are forgiven. Christ carried my SICKNESS to the cross too, so it was healed 1970 odd years ago, but I need for that healing to be manifested in my body! (this has already started to happen within the past couple of days. I have had terrible insomnia since the lyme has taken over my body. The last time I forgot to take my sleeping medication, I was not able to fall asleep until 4:30 in the morning. That was after waking up early and moving from Chambersburg to Mechanicsburg) Last night and the night before, I felt God say that he was healing me and that I should trust him and cut down on my medication, so I cut the pill in half, hoping that I would be able to fall asleep at least before 2 o'clock. Last night i fell asleep at 11!!! (11:30 is my usual pass-out time) So I know that God is doing His awesome work in my body, but I still need more! I'm asking that you would all join me in believing that God has HEALED me. I'm expecting that by the time I leave for whatever ministry He directs me to, I will not have ANY trace of ANY sickness.

I would love for all of you to join me on this journey of discovering God's plan for my life, and also this journey of Healing that He is taking me on. If you have bible verses that remind you of the goodness of God and how he is faithful to do what he says he will do, I would love to get those from you! (The whole reason I'm going to do a DTS is so that I can qualify for a 9 month intense study of the bible, where you read through every book in the Word 5 times! SO PUMPED FOR THAT!!!!) Also, if there is anything that I can do to encourage you, do not hesitate to ask! Find me on facebook, and send me a message! I don't want to make this about me. I want this to be about the Sent AND the Senders working together to further the kingdom of God! Thanks so much, and I pray that God richly blesses you with his love, joy, and peace in overwhelming provision!